passion propels http://passion-propels.posterous.com "Purpose may point you in the right direction but it’s passion that propels you." -Travis McAshan posterous.com Fri, 14 Sep 2012 18:56:00 -0700 Looking Behind http://passion-propels.posterous.com/looking-behind http://passion-propels.posterous.com/looking-behind

I tramp a perpetual journey.

This statement is so true.  Even when I'm moving on I'm constantly reminded of where I came from, like a string tied to my foot dragging me back time after time to watch other people relive my past.  These people are like funhouse mirrors that instead of distoring your image they show you the ugly truth of where you came from and how sucky of a person you actually were.  Even after you reconcile your problems, they pop up.  Now it just depends on how you watch your past unfold the second time.

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Fri, 31 Aug 2012 19:52:00 -0700 time: 1 http://passion-propels.posterous.com/time-1 http://passion-propels.posterous.com/time-1

The beauty of time is that it's limited.  It's also the curse.  In my heart, all time is limited.  Maybe I dwell on it too much, but it's so true.  As a junior, I have about two years left of high school and then life will take me away, and even when I come home, things won't be the same.  I'm on the clock.  The hardest thing is balancing between the here and now and the future and tomorrow.  All of my college friends are gone now and I miss them like crazy, but they remind me that in a few short years it'll be uprooting and putting one foot in college and leaving the other at home.

Life is precious, and it's a series of moments that you'll never be able to get back.  One simple mistake can make a small moment a huge moment, like the split second you decided to gun it on red and you watched your life flash in front of your eyes are you are paralyzed in fear, spinning, spinning, spinning.  And your whole perspective changes.

Choose your moments wisely.

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Sun, 26 Aug 2012 13:21:00 -0700 Symbols http://passion-propels.posterous.com/symbols http://passion-propels.posterous.com/symbols

As a teenager, I want to see my life as one grand gesture, read into things too much, live my life fully, because after all, YOLO.  But really, I want my life to mean something so badly that I find deeper meanings to everything that happens to me.

For example, one of my dearest friends just went off to college, which personally was one of the most difficult goodbyes I'd have to say, not because I'd never see her again, but because I knew I'd have to keep reopening that goodbye over and over again.  (You'll figure out I have crazy attachment problems sooner or later).  But anyways, we poke each other on Facebook, you know that stupid app that everyone forgets about that you just click the "poke" button and you poke them.  I hope that every time she clicks that stupid poke button on her laptop, she thinks of me.

I hope that someday I will find myself married, in love, (which by the way isn't me repeating myself), surrounded by family, and finally just happy with my life and who I've become.  Identity all depends on how you see yourself, and that's the greatest struggle we face: deciding who we want to be.  I can be delusional and say I'm an astronaut but I never will be.  It's about perspective.

Finally, the reason I created this blog on this Sunday afternoon is because I'm a hopeless romantic, a lonely French Horn player, a teenage girl with one dimple, and a kid who just wants to make a grand gesture with her life.  This is step one, while I'm still bound by high school and my parents to let my grand ambitions be known while I'm sitting on my parents' couch trying to make it in the world.  Dueces.

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