Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Symbols

As a teenager, I want to see my life as one grand gesture, read into things too much, live my life fully, because after all, YOLO.  But really, I want my life to mean something so badly that I find deeper meanings to everything that happens to me.

For example, one of my dearest friends just went off to college, which personally was one of the most difficult goodbyes I'd have to say, not because I'd never see her again, but because I knew I'd have to keep reopening that goodbye over and over again.  (You'll figure out I have crazy attachment problems sooner or later).  But anyways, we poke each other on Facebook, you know that stupid app that everyone forgets about that you just click the "poke" button and you poke them.  I hope that every time she clicks that stupid poke button on her laptop, she thinks of me.

I hope that someday I will find myself married, in love, (which by the way isn't me repeating myself), surrounded by family, and finally just happy with my life and who I've become.  Identity all depends on how you see yourself, and that's the greatest struggle we face: deciding who we want to be.  I can be delusional and say I'm an astronaut but I never will be.  It's about perspective.

Finally, the reason I created this blog on this Sunday afternoon is because I'm a hopeless romantic, a lonely French Horn player, a teenage girl with one dimple, and a kid who just wants to make a grand gesture with her life.  This is step one, while I'm still bound by high school and my parents to let my grand ambitions be known while I'm sitting on my parents' couch trying to make it in the world.  Dueces.